Friar helps fellow veterans find healing, hope

Br. Ed McKenzie, OFM, is a self-described “wounded healer.”  

Because of his personal experience, the veteran-turned-Franciscan-priest understands and has deep empathy for former service members dealing with trauma. Committed to helping them heal, he holds “Coming Home” retreats for fellow vets at Old Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside, California.  

He was barely 21 when Br. Ed found himself in Vietnam as a member of the 38th Air Rescue and Recovery Squadron, a helicopter medivac unit, and chasing Russian submarines in the Atlantic Ocean.  

“It certainly impacted me,” he recalled. “We weren’t treated very nicely upon returning to the States. Some people called us baby killers. I’m one of the lucky ones because I came out of combat alive, but there are things that stick with you and continue to haunt you. I had survivor’s guilt and questioned why I made it home when so many others didn’t.”  

Acceptance through helping others  

Br. Ed, who was in the Franciscans’ minor seminary in Oakbrook, Illinois, in the mid-sixties, left during what he says was “a very confusing time in a young man’s life.” Following his time in the military, he married and became the father of “two wonderful boys.”  When his marriage ended and with the children grown, a friend encouraged him to return to the Franciscan fold. He did so as a 55-year-old postulant.  

“I came back to the Order kind of wounded, but found acceptance among my brothers,” said Br. Ed, who was ordained to the priesthood in 2012.  

Though not visible, the wounds he experienced remained with him over the years, the trauma resulting in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Therapy has helped, as did attending a veteran’s retreat offered by Jesuits in Chicago, where he was serving at the time. Br. Ed went on to join the retreat team and eventually brought a similar model to California.  

“It’s a way for me to pay it forward, to help fellow veterans who are experiencing shame, guilt, isolation, abandonment,” he explained. “So many people find meaning in military service, then when they’re let loose, that meaning is lost.  

“There are so many issues that veterans face, and you can’t see their moral injuries,” he continued. “It’s something that’s experienced internally. You can mend an arm or a leg, but mending a heart or spirit is a whole other skill set. That’s what I’m trying to help with.”  

A spark of new life  

Male and female veterans from all branches of the service have taken part in the day-long retreats. Family members are also encouraged to attend since they can be just as affected by PTSD as their loved ones.  

The retreats consist of group discussions during which all can share their feelings, along with guided meditations, prayer and conversation based on the spirituality of two soldier saints – Ignatius of Loyola and Francis of Assisi. This includes a mediation that Br. Ed authored based on the “Canticle of the Creatures.”  

“It helps us feel grounded, that we are connected to nature,” he said. “Francis and Ignatius figured out how to deal with the stresses of combat on their own. They became saints, which demonstrates that it’s possible to overcome the trauma that combat has caused.” 

Br. Ed is quick to give credit to the team of 10 people, including two licensed therapists, who assist with the retreats, saying, “They are very passionate about what we do.”  

Retreat participants have appreciated the experience. 

“I loved the program for the information we were given that will help us to live with the things that continue to bother us these many years later,” said one. “I especially loved the prayer and the healing Mass that Br. Ed offered us. The whole day was just beautiful.” 

“It was amazing to see and hear the amazing stories of other survivors of trauma who are now living and tackling the PTSD that they have,” added another. “It was a wonderful experience to realize that I am not alone in all of this. I have companions on this lifelong journey. I don’t have to do it alone. The retreat was a powerful event in my life and just what I needed.” 

As for Br. Ed, “I always come away with from these retreats with more than I give,” he said. “I hear the other veterans’ stories, and they inspire me to stand up tall and proud. I hope that one day they can do the same. We can take example from each other and together we can reignite that spark of life.”  

For more information about the Coming Home retreats, visit www.sanluisrey.org or call (760) 757-3659. 

The photo of Br. Ed featured at the beginning of this article is courtesy of Br. Octavio Duran, OFM.