How to discern a vocation: A Franciscan guide

For some, the call to religious life can arise like a fire from within. For others, it’s more of a flickering flame, a subtle yet persistent nudge or tap on the shoulder. Discernment is about paying attention to whatever way God’s call finds you.

Discovering your vocation is a process, whether God calls you to religious life, marriage, single life or a certain profession. The process of discernment includes prayer and reflection, patience, encounter and a desire to listen. When we discern, we carry two questions at once:

What do I want to do with my life?
What is God asking of me?

How do you discern a vocation? Begin with prayer and attentive listening, then test what you experience through reflection, spiritual direction, service and encounters with the community or way of life you feel drawn toward.

Discernment for men considering a vocation as a friar involves quieting internal (and external) distractions, deepening their relationship with God and taking in the Franciscan experience more mindfully. This process doesn’t happen overnight.

There can be many factors at play. One friar shared the desire for fraternity, prayer and the opportunity to serve people on the margins first drew him to the Franciscans. The joy he encountered among the friars and their authentic concern for one another and the people they serve inspired him to choose that life for himself.

So, how do you discern a vocation, and where do you begin?

How to discern a vocation

1. Ground your discernment in prayer

Begin at the beginning: Your relationship with God.

Seek time both to pray and to listen. Look to the Gospels as a cornerstone for your reflection. Allow the writings of St. Francis, St. Clare, St. Anthony of Padua and other Franciscan saints to guide you.

Prayer is central to Franciscan life. Since the days of St. Francis and his original brothers, both communal and individual prayer have shaped the tradition. Franciscan life takes shape beautifully in the balance between activity and contemplation.

2. Journal your discernment journey

The ability to look back and recognize patterns can make discernment clearer. Write down prayers and questions, reactions and reflections. Let a journal be more about capturing what happens within you than chronicling the discernment process.

What themes are reoccurring in your prayer? What experiences resonate with you? What questions surface again and again? A faithful journal can illuminate your spiritual growth and help you notice where God might be leading you in your vocational discernment.

3. Seek spiritual direction

Discernment doesn’t happen alone. A spiritual director can accompany, encourage and help you reflect authentically on what you experience. Rather than telling you what you should do, a spiritual director walks alongside you as you listen for God’s direction.

Who can be a spiritual director for someone discerning Franciscan life? A friar who can share his own experience of discernment is one possibility. Someone with a strong prayer life and a deep relationship with Christ can also accompany you faithfully on the journey.

4. Put discernment into motion through service

Prayer is where you listen. Service is where you discover what happens when you respond.

Lend a hand in a soup kitchen. Help sort clothes at a distribution center. Explore ministry needs at your parish. Serving others can help you explore whether you are drawn toward a Franciscan vocation.

Franciscan ministry is rooted in service. Friars serve in many different ways: parishes, schools, downtown service churches, urban ministry centers, and campus ministry; chaplaincies; communications, missions, retreat centers and other preaching ministries; services and shelters for the homeless, hungry and mentally ill; “come home” programs for alienated Catholics; and care for immigrants and migrants. Franciscan ministry is about more than meeting material needs – it is also a ministry of presence that shares God’s love and hope.

5. Spend time with Franciscans

Franciscan life is meant to be lived, not merely studied. Spend time with friars. Listen to their vocation stories. Ask them questions. Pray among them and break bread with them. Join them in ministry whenever possible.

“Come and see” gatherings at a friary – whether for a day, an evening or a weekend – offer an opportunity to experience the prayer, fraternity, ministry and social life that shape daily life as a friar. Interested in attending a Come and See weekend? Fill out the Vocation Office’s inquiry form. This is not a formal application – it simply begins a conversation with our vocation office and gives the friars a chance to walk with you in your discernment.

Friar Chats is another way to connect. It's a monthly Zoom gathering for men discerning a Franciscan vocation. The conversations, held every third Saturday of the month, offers the chance to hear friars share their vocation stories, ask questions, and gain insight into Franciscan life. For details about how to join a Frair Chat, email vocation@friars.us.

Why does this encounter matter? Because a Franciscan vocation isn’t lived alone. Fraternity is another cornerstone of Franciscan life.

6. Experience life in a friary

A friary (a Franciscan residence) is more than a place to live. It’s where friars pray and eat together, share in conversation and recreation, and work together to maintain the household. In a friary, brothers support one another and face challenges together.

This life is both a place of personal growth and conversion of the heart. Evangelization for friars begins here, in a way of life called contemplative fraternity-in-mission, which binds brothers together through prayer and brotherhood and connects them to the people they serve.

7. Pause for reflection

After experiencing Franciscan prayer, fraternity or ministry, make time to reflect. What moved you and what surprised you? Where did you feel challenged, and what remains with you afterward?

Your reactions are an integral part of your journal. Bring them into conversation with your spiritual director. Together you can explore what those experiences might reveal about your vocation.

8. Repeat

You won’t necessarily find a clear answer right away. The cycle of prayer, experience, service, conversion, reflection and beginning again is an ongoing process. Carry what you’ve learned into another experience. Return to a ministry or continue conversations with friars and other men on the same journey.

Repeating these practices can bring greater clarity to your path ahead. Don’t be discouraged if clarity takes time. Discernment is a process, and it has no deadline.

A prayer for discernment

St. Francis’ “Prayer Before the Cross” offers words for anyone seeking clarity about where God might be leading:

Most High, glorious God,
enlighten the darkness of my heart
and give me true faith,
certain hope and perfect charity,
sense and knowledge, Lord,
that I may carry out
Your holy and true command.

The prayer captures the essence of discernment: asking not simply for an answer, but for the faith, hope, love and understanding to recognize God’s will and respond to it.

What is Franciscan religious life like?

A Franciscan vocation is a life of fraternity, mission and prayer, both communal and personal. A Franciscan vocation can take you places you never imagined, into classrooms and parishes, retreat centers and neighborhoods, and into the lives of people on the margins. Wherever that journey leads, ministry becomes a way of bringing the Gospel into the world through service and presence.

Your discernment might include a simple question:

Can I imagine this life for myself?

That question asks you to picture yourself inside this life: praying, serving and living in fraternity. You don’t need to begin with an answer. Discernment is a way of allowing that answer room to emerge in its own time.

Take the next step

Feeling even the most subtle nudge to follow St. Francis? You don’t need to have it all figured out. Start with prayer. Journal about your experiences. Share your thoughts with a trusted companion. Serve others. Spend time with friars. Then, pray and listen.

Again.

Whether you know it or not, your own discernment has already begun.

Ready to talk about your vocation?

You don't have to discern alone. Are you wondering whether God might be calling you to a life as a Franciscan friar? Our vocation office is here to listen, answer questions and accompany you as you explore where God might be leading you.

Complete this form to start a conversation.